Page 46 - volume1
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these things was such, that I felt it would have been easier for
            me to tell the ugliest sins. Where this came from I don’t

            know. From the confessor I don’t think so, because he was
            so good, trustful, sweet, patient in listening. He would take a
            most exact care of the soul; he had his eye on everything, so
            that I might walk straight. From me I don’t think so either,

            because I felt a block over my soul, and I had all the will to
            free myself and to hear at least what the confessor thought

            about it; but I felt it was impossible for me to do it. To me, I
            think that there was an intervention of the Lord.

            So, finding myself with the new confessor, I began,

            little by little, to open my interior. Many times the Lord
            commanded me to manifest to the confessor what He had
            told me; and when I would not do it, the Lord would scold me,

            He would reproach me severely, and at times He reached the
            point of telling me that if I did not do it, He would not come
            any more which for me is the most bitter pain, such that
            all other pains, compared to this, seem to me nothing other

            than blades of straw. Therefore, the fear that He would really
            not come was so great, that I did as much as I could in order
            to manifest my interior. It is true that many times this cost

            me much, but the fear of losing my dear Jesus would make
            me overcome everything. On the part of the confessor I was
            also pushed to tell him where such a state was coming from,
            what happened to me when I was in that doziness, what was

            the cause of it. He would now command me to manifest it,
            now he would force me through the precepts of obedience,

            and now he would place before me the fear that I might be
            living in illusion and deceit, living within myself, while if
            I manifested it to the priest, I could be more certain and


            tranquil, and that the Lord never permits that the priest be
            mistaken when the soul is obedient. So, Jesus Christ pushed
            me from one side, the confessor from the other; it seemed

            to me that sometimes they were banding together, the two
            of them the confessor and Jesus Christ. So I managed to
            manifest my soul. The past confessor would not do that he


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