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I also remember that the most tormenting pain for me was

that of not being able to obey.

I remember that during this period of time there was a
cholera epidemic, and one day I prayed my Good Jesus to

make this scourge cease. And He said to me: “I will content
you, as long as you accept offering yourself to suffer whatever

I want.”

I said to Him: “Lord, no, I cannot You know how they
think. If this thing could pass only between me and You, I

would have been most ready to accept everything.’
And He said to me: “My daughter, had I paid attention
to what men were thinking, and to what they were going to

do with Me, I would not have operated the Redemption of
mankind. But I had My eyes fixed on their Salvation, and
the great Love that devoured Me made Me act in a way that
when I would see people who thought ill about Me, and who

caused the occasion to make Me suffer more, I would offer
those very pains that they gave Me for their own salvation.
Have you forgotten that what I want from you is the imitation

of My Life, and that I will make you share in everything I
suffered? Don’t you know that the Most Beautiful Act, the
Most Heroic and Most Pleasing to Me, and which you must
offer to Me, is that of offering yourself for the very ones who

are against you?”

I remained mute; I did not know what to answer. I accepted
everything that the Lord wanted, and so until evening I was
caught by that state of sufferings, and I remained in it for
three consecutive days. Then, after I came round, I no longer

heard anything about the cholera.
After this, I received another mortification, and this was
having to change confessor, because since he was a Religious,

he was called back to the Convent. I was content with him,
and most of those dins mentioned above occurred when he
was in the countryside; especially during the last year he was

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