Page 38 - volume1

never thought I would reach this point. But who knows where I
will end up! O please! give me help and Strength, for my nature

is failing me.”

Many times He would deign to tell me a few words. He
would say to me: “I AM your help, what do you fear? Don’t

you remember that I too suffered from all kinds of people
some had one opinion about Me, some another. The holiest

things I did were judged by them as faulty, wicked, to the
point of telling Me that I was possessed; so much so, that
they would look at Me with surly eyes. They would keep

Me in their midst, but unwillingly, and would plot among
themselves on how they could take My life away the soonest,
for My presence had become intolerable for them. So, don’t

you want Me to make you similar to Me, by making you
suffer on the part of creatures?”

So I spent several years suffering on the part of creatures,

from demons, and directly from God. At times I reached such
bitterness from creatures and from the way they thought, that
I was ashamed of being seen by anyone; so much so, that my

greatest sacrifice was to appear in the midst of people the
blushing and the bewilderment were such, that I felt dazed.

There were more visits from other doctors, but they came up

with nothing. Sometimes, shedding bitter tears, I would say
to Him with all my heart: “Lord, how public my sufferings

have become not only to my family, but also to strangers. I
see myself all covered with bewilderment; it seems to me that
everyone is pointing his finger at me, as if these sufferings
were the most wicked actions. I myself am unable to say

what has happened to me. O please! You alone can free me
from such publicity, and let me suffer hiddenly. I pray You, I
implore You answer me.”

Sometimes the Lord too showed He would not listen
to me, and my pains would increase. Other times, then,

38