Page 35 - volume1

give me Help and Strength in order to bear this trial. But as
I was doing this, I felt I was beginning to lose consciousness.

O God! what pain the mere thought that my family was
going to see me, for until then, they had not noticed it. At
that moment, I said: “Lord, do not permit that they see me.”

I was so ashamed to be seen, that I myself cannot explain
why, and I tried as much as I could to hide in places where I

could not be seen. When, then, I was caught by surprise, in
such a way that I would not have the time to hide, or at least
to kneel for whatever position I was in, I would remain in
it, and they could say I was there praying then I would be

found out. As I lost consciousness, Our Lord made Himself
seen in the midst of many enemies who were giving Him all
sorts of insults; especially, they grabbed Him and trampled

Him underfoot, they blasphemed Him, they pulled His hair.

It seemed to me that my Good Jesus wanted to escape from
under those fetid soles, and He kept looking who knows,

He might find a friendly hand who would free Him; but He
found no one. While seeing this, I did nothing but cry over
the pains of my Lord. I wanted to go into the midst of those

enemies who knows, maybe I could free Him; but I did not
dare to. I said to Him: “Lord, let me share in Your pains. O
please! if only I could relieve You and free You.” As I was
saying this, those enemies, as if they had understood, came

against me but so enraged; and they began to beat me, to
pull my hair, to trample me. I had so much fear; I suffered,

yes, but within me I was content, because I could see that
the Lord was given a little bit of respite. Afterwards, those
enemies disappeared, and I remained alone with my Jesus.

I tried to compassionate Him, but I did not dare to say
anything. And He, breaking the silence, said to me: “All
that you have seen is nothing compared to the offenses that

they give Me continuously. Their blindness, the engulfing
of earthly things, is so great, that they reach the point of
becoming not only My cruel enemies, but also enemies of

35