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the call of obedience, I would hardly have been able to obey.
O! Prodigy of Holy Obedience You have been everything
for me. How many times I found myself clashing with death,
so great was the intensity of the pains and Obedience has
almost restored my life. May the Lord be always Blessed;
may everything be for His Glory.
Now, while feeling myself inside myself, I could not see
anything; but when I would lose consciousness, I could see the
points marked by the wounds of Jesus. It seemed to me that
the very wounds of Jesus had been transmuted in my hands,
and in the rest; and this was the first time that Jesus crucified
me. Indeed, there have been so many of these crucifixions
that it is impossible to count them all. I will just say the main
things pertaining to this.
Now, as Jesus would come back, I would say to Him: “My
dear Beloved, give me sorrow for my sins, so that, consumed
by sorrow and by regret for having offended You, my sins
may be erased from my soul, and also from Your memory.
Yes, give me as much sorrow for as much as I have dared to
offend You. Even more, let sorrow surpass this, so I will be
able to draw more intimately close to You.”
I remember that once, while I was saying this, my always
benign Jesus told me: “Since you are so sorry for having offended
Me, I Myself want to dispose you to feel sorrow for your sins, so
that you may see how awful sin is, and what bitter pain My Heart
suffered. Therefore, say together with Me: ‘If I cross the sea, You
are in the sea, yet I do not see You; I tread the earth, You are under
my feet. I sinned’.”
And then, in a low voice, almost crying, Jesus added:
“Yet I Loved you, and at that very moment, I preserved you.”
While Jesus was saying this, and I together with Him, I was
caught by such sorrow for the offenses given, that I fell flat to
the ground; and Jesus disappeared.
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