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annihilation of myself, I saw myself so unworthy to receive
that Grace, that I did not dare to say: “Lord, crucify me with

You.” Jesus seemed to be suspended, waiting for my will.
Who can say how ardently I desired it in my inmost soul,
though, at the same time, I saw myself unworthy? My nature
was frightened, and trembled.

But while I was in this state, my beloved Jesus, through

the intellect, solicited me to accept. Then, with all my heart
I said to Him: “Holy Spouse, crucified for me, I pray You
to concede me the Grace to be crucified, and, at the same
time, not to let any external sign appear on the outside. Yes,

give me Suffering, give me the Wounds, but let everything be
hidden between me and You.”

And so those rays of Light, together with the nails, pierced
my hands and feet through, and my Heart was pierced by a
ray of Light together with a lance. Who can say the pain
and the contentment? As much as I had been caught by fear

before, so much did my soul swim in the Sea of Peace, of
Contentment and of Pain afterwards. The Pain I felt in the
hands, in the feet and in the heart was so great, that I felt

myself dying; I felt the bones of my hands and feet being
shattered into most tiny pieces. I felt as if there was a nail
inside, but at the same time, they caused me such Contentment
that I cannot express it, and gave me such Strength, that

while I felt myself dying because of the Pain, those very
Pains sustained me so that I would not die. However, nothing

appeared on the external parts of the body, though I felt the
Pains corporally. This is so true, that when the confessor
would come to call me to obedience and would loosen my
hands, which were contracted, every time he would touch me

at that point of my hands that is, there where that ray of
Light had gone through together with the nail I would feel
mortal pains. However, when the confessor would command,

by obedience, that those pains should cease, they would very
much mitigate. In fact, those pains were so strong, that they
made me lose consciousness, and if they had not mitigated at

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