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Even more, I want that, just as I was poor, you also imitate Me
in poverty. You must consider yourself in this bed as a little

poor one; the poor are content with whatever they have, and
they first thank Me, and then their benefactors. The same for
you: go along with whatever is given to you without asking for
this or that, which might be a hindrance in your mind; but with

Holy Indifference without thinking of whether it might do
good or bad comply with the will of others.”

This cost me very much at the beginning, especially
because of the obediences that the confessor would give me.
I don’t know why, he wanted me to take quinine, and I was

given the obedience that as many times as I would throw up,
so many times was I to take food again. Now, quinine would
whet my appetite, and sometimes I would feel quite a bit of

hunger. I would take food, and immediately after taking it,
and at times in the very act of taking it, I would be forced
to bring it up because of the continuous retching; and so I
would remain with the same hunger as before. The word

“poor” which Jesus had spoken to me would not allow me to
dare to ask for anything; and I myself would feel ashamed to
ask, thinking to myself: “What will the family say: she has

just vomited, and now she wants to eat?” So I would remain
content with being able to offer something to my dear Jesus.

However, this did not last for a long time, but about four

months. One day the Lord told me: “Repeat to him the
request for the obedience not to take quinine and not to take

food so many times, for I will give him Light.”

So the confessor came and I told him. And he said to me:
“So as not to show uniqueness, from now on I want you to take

food only once a day”; and he also suspended the quinine. So I
remained more quiet and the hunger went away; but the vomiting
did not cease that one time in which I would take food, I was

forced to bring it up. Sometimes the Lord told me to ask for
the obedience not to eat, but the confessor never gave me this
obedience. He would say to me: “It doesn’t matter if you throw

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