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kept last night that after so much waiting and yearning I
was to remain without You? I know well that I must obey,

but tell me something can I be without You? Who will give
me Strength? And then, who will have the courage to depart
from this church without bringing You along? I don’t know
what to do, but You can remedy everything.”

While pouring myself out in this way, I would feel a Fire

come near me, and a Flame enter into my heart. I would
feel Him inside of me, and immediately He would say to me:
“Calm yourself, calm yourself. Here you are I AM already
in your heart. What do you fear now? Do not afflict yourself

any more, I Myself want to dry your tears. You are right, you
could not be without Me, could you?”

I would then remain so very annihilated within myself,
and I would say to Him that if I were good, He would not
have disposed it that way; and I prayed Him never to leave
me again, for I did not want to be without Him.

After these things, one day, after Communion, I felt Him
within me, all Love Loving me so much that I myself was
very much amazed, for I saw myself as so bad and unrequiting.

And I said within myself: “If only I were good and requiting.
I fear that He might leave me (I have always had this fear that
He might leave me, and I still do; and sometimes the pain
I feel is so great, that I believe that the pain of death would

be lesser, and if He Himself does not come to calm me, I
can give myself no peace) while He wants to draw more

intimately close to me.”

While I felt Him inside of me in this way, through an
interior voice, He said to me: “My beloved, the things past

have been nothing but a preparation. Now I want to come
to facts, and in order to dispose your heart to do what I want
from you that is, the imitation of My Life I want you to

sink into the Immense Sea of My Passion; and when you have
understood well the bitterness of My Pains, the Love with
which I suffered them, Who I AM who suffered so much, and

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