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grab it, it escapes you. You are nothing.”

I felt so annihilated, that I would have wanted to hide in
the deepest abysses, but I saw myself incapable of doing it. I
felt such blushing that I remained mute. While I was in this
undoing of my nothingness, He said to me: “Draw near Me,

cling to My Arm I will sustain you with My Hands and you
will receive Strength. You are blind, but My Light will serve

you as guide. See, I will place Myself in front of you, and
you will do nothing but look at Me in order to imitate Me.”

Then He said to me: “The first thing I want you to mortify

is your will. That ‘self’ must be destroyed in you; I want you
to keep it sacrificed as victim before Me, so that your will and
Mine may become one. Aren’t you happy?”

“Yes, Lord, but give me the Grace, for I see that by myself
I can do nothing.”
And He continued, telling me: “Yes, I Myself will
contradict you in everything, and occasionally by means of

creatures.”

And so it happened. For example, if in the morning I woke

up and did not get up immediately, the interior voice would tell
me: “You rest, while I had no other bed but the Cross. Hurry
up, hurry up not so much satisfaction.” If I walked and my
sight would run a little farther, immediately He would reprimand

me: “I do not want this. Do not let your sight move away from
you but the length of one step, so that you won’t trip.” If I was

in the countryside and I saw flowers and trees, He would say to
me: “I have created everything for Love of you, and you, deprive
your sight of this delight for love of Me.” Even in the most
innocent and Holy things, as for example the cloths for the altars,

the processions, He would say to me: “You must take no other
pleasure but in Me alone.” If I was sitting while working, He
would say to me: “You are too comfortable; don’t you remember

that My Life was a continuous suffering and you? And you?”
In order to content Him, I would immediately shift to half
of the chair, leaving the other half empty; and sometimes,

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