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it to the maid, or I would say that I didn’t want it any more;
times I remained almost on an empty stomach.

However, when I would go to pray, I would receive so much

Strength and feel so Satiated, that I would feel nausea for
everything. Other times, then, in order to contradict me, if I

did not feel like eating, He would say to me: “I want you to
eat for love of Me, and as the food unites with the body, pray

to Me that My Love may unite with your soul; and everything
will be Sanctified.”

In a word, without going any further, even in the littlest

things, He tried to make my will die, so that it might live
only for Him. He allowed that I be contradicted also by the
confessor. As for example: I would feel a great need to receive

Communion; for the whole day and night I would do nothing
but prepare myself. My eyes could not close to sleep because
of the continuous throbbing of my heart. I would say to Him:
“Lord, hurry, for I cannot be without You. Accelerate the

hours, let the sun rise quickly, for I cannot endure anymore,
my heart is fainting.”

He Himself would make me such Loving Invitations that I
would feel my heart break. He would say to me: “See, I AM
alone, do not be troubled because you cannot sleep this is about
keeping company with your God, with your Spouse, with your

All, who is continuously offended. O please! do not deny Me
this relief, because, then, in your afflictions I do not leave you.”

But while I was with these dispositions, in the morning I
would go to the confessor, and without knowing why, the first
thing he would say to me was: “I do not want you to receive
Communion.”

I tell the Truth, this was so bitter for me, that sometimes
I would do nothing but cry. I would not dare to say anything

to the confessor, because He Himself wanted him to do so,
otherwise He would reproach me. But I would go to Him and
tell Him of my pain: “Ah! my Good, is this the vigil we have

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