Page 23 - volume1

whatever help you want, I will give to you.” And so He did.

After I had spent some time, now with Him, and now
without, one day, after Communion, I felt more intimately
united to Him. He asked me various questions, as for example:
if I loved Him, if I was ready to do what He wanted, even the

sacrifice of my life for love of Him. He also said to me: “And
you tell Me what you want; if you are ready to do what I

want, I too will do what you want.” I saw myself all confused;

I could not understand that way of operating of His. But with
time I understood that that way of acting is when He wants

to dispose the soul to new and heavy Crosses; and He knows
how to draw her so close to Himself with those stratagems,
that the soul does not dare to oppose what He wants.

So I said to Him: “Yes, I love You; but You tell me,
Yourself can I find anything more Beautiful, more Holy,
more Lovable than You? And then, why ask me if I am ready

to do what You want, when it has been so long since I delivered
my will to You, and I prayed You not to spare me even tearing
me to pieces, as long as I may give You pleasure? I abandon

myself in You, O Holy Spouse operate freely, do with me
whatever You want; give me Your Grace, for by myself I am
nothing and can do nothing.”
And He repeated to me: “Are you truly ready for anything

I want?”

I saw myself more confused, annihilated, and I said:
“Yes, I am ready” but almost trembling.
And He, compassionating me, continued to tell me: “Do
not fear, I will be your Strength it is not you who will suffer,

but I Myself will suffer and fight within you. See, I want
to purify your soul from every slightest spot which might
hinder My Love in you; I want to test your faithfulness. But

how can I see if this is true, other than by placing you in the
midst of the battle? Know then, that I want to put you in the
midst of demons. I will give them freedom to torment you

23