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being able to say even one clear word. Therefore, I stop here,
without going any further. I will only say that, sometimes,

while finding myself in that Blessed Fatherland, I would be
strolling together with Jesus in the midst of the choirs of
Angels and the Saints; and since I was Newly-Espoused, all
the Blessed would unite together to participate in the Joys of

our marriage. It seemed to me that they would forget their
own contentments to occupy themselves with our own; and

sometimes Jesus would show me to the Saints, saying to
them: “See this soul she is a Triumph of My Love; My
Love has surpassed everything in her.”

Other times, then, He would have me put myself at the
place that was destined for me, and He would say to me:

“Here is your place no one can take it away from you.” And
at times I would reach the point of believing that I would no
longer have to come back to earth; but in one simple instant I
would find myself locked up in the wall of this body.

Who can say how so very bitter this returning would be
for me? It seemed to me that, in going from the things of
Heaven to the things of this earth, everything was rotten,

insipid, bothering. The things that so much delighted others,
were bitter for me. The people most dear, most distinguished,
such that others would do who knows what, in order to be
with them, were indifferent to me, and also bothering; only

by looking at them as images of God did I seem to be able
to bear them. But my soul had lost any satisfaction; nothing

would bring to it the slightest shadow of contentment, and
the pain I felt was such, that I would do nothing but cry and
lament to my beloved Jesus. Ah! my heart lived restless, amid
continuous yearnings and desires; I felt it more in Heaven

than on earth. I felt in my interior something that consumed
me continuously, so bitter and painful it was for me having
to continue to live. But the obedience almost put a brake

on these pains of mine, commanding me in an absolute way
not to desire to die, and that only then was I to die, when the
confessor would give me the obedience. So, in order to do

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